Like We Never Loved At All
by rmlawson78
Summary: One man loved her without any limitations, while the other one had his own hidden agenda's. Will these tangled web's of betrayal & of love prevail in the end?
1. Chapter 1

_**Like we never loved at all**_

_Today was supposed to be I light fun filled day in June to celebrate Michael's 35__th__ birthday with a cookout for family so my mother had said…(Yes…I will admit I like them young….less baggage or so I thought)…..but I was surprised to find my extended family here as well when Michael & I showed up. I think a sigh of relief came over me when I realized it was only Rossi, Garcia & Kevin, & JJ & her family that where their…..But the one I was afraid of seeing considering that I had not spoken to him since he took me to the airport 8 long months ago…only added error to my already guilty conscience!_

_**EIGHT MONTHS EARLIER…**_

_This man has no clue what he is doing to me what-so-ever. After all of these years of putting each other's lives in one another's hands depending on each other in ways unfathomable by anyone its lead to this! Out of all the embraces and touches we have shared nothing could ever compare to how he's been holding me all night long, all of his gentle caresses, all of the long lingering kisses that absolutely take our breaths away, and the way he's making love to me as if we have been doing this for a life time. I never thought it was possible to want a man more than I want this one in my entire life, he keeps saying all the things I want to hear as he clings to my sex ridden body…although hours earlier I had begged him not to say the things he was saying to me, now I do not know how I could ever go back after this!_

_I know I shouldn't even be in this man's arm's little alone his bed….but it was almost as if all of those months apart had changed something in both of us. The factor that I have a boyfriend who I love and live with is the farthest thing from my mind except for the factor of how can I go back into his arms knowing what I am doing right now is so wrong even though it feels so right! As he tells me for probably the thousandth time tonight how much he loves me any thought of Michael has left my love drunken mind…..Yes I love this man….but in truth I know I am in love with this man and have been for years._

_I had planned on being in Washington just for a long weekend so I could finally visit with everyone. When I arrived at Dulles Garcia picked me up with her usually gleefully bright appearance given me the 4__th__ degree wanting to know why I had not brought Michael along but I told her that the beginning of the month was always very busy for him in his line of work so I decided to make a little get away to visit. By the end of the night we all were a little too drunk only showing how much I truly missed these outings with my ex-team members…..No I should say my family! Considering it was well after 2am and my hotel was closest to his house we decided to share a taxi, but one touch….one look…..one kiss…..and three days of the most wonderful time of my life leading to me finding my way back at Dulles catching a plane back to the open arms of a man who I have betrayed in every way possible!_

_When I landed at Heathrow there Michael was with open arms and the biggest and warmest smile ever as he pulled me into his warm and inviting body all I could think of was how I had betrayed this wonderful man who thinks I am a God sent to him! A few days after I had gotten back Michael had planned this elaborate dinner and surprise he said for my 43__rd__ birthday….but little did I know what he had planned was going to change my life and what had happened the weekend before with a man I love in more ways than I should! _

_**This is a little preview to what is to come! I hope you all will enjoy this little adventure in love or will it be a story of betrayal? As always I do not own criminal minds or its characters! Please R&R…thank you!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

I cannot say when it actually happened or when I had become so obviously to my situation until we had turned into the long drive up to my mother's estate as I looked at the row of vehicles lined up like it was lined for a funeral precession…..hell for all I knew it was! How had my life gotten so turned upside down in the past year!

_{When I had decided to move to London to take this job at Interpol I had meant for it to be a new start to my life…..it gave me an excuse to leave Michael, or maybe it was just a coward excuse for me to run away again for all I knew. But what I had not expected was for Derek to say the things he said to me the night of JJ and Will's wedding. He said that losing me and then almost losing me again in less than a year's time was more than he could take….along with he had been such a foolish man for not just telling me how much he cared for me….hell how much he loved me! With every word…with every embrace of the closeness of his body in the way he held me during each dance….God I had to admit I never wanted to leave….I just wanted time to stop and this moment to never end! So when what happened 8 months ago between he and I …I had never expected that it would have happened in an more inopportune time than it did…but it was the single most exhilarating weekend of my life, with the only man I have truly ever been in love with….but I guess the fates had other plans for me!}_

"_Em babe….you alright?" _ Yeah I am just fine you know me Michael I am always scattered brained! "_Babe you looked like you were in deep thought or had seen a ghost, you know we really do not have to stay long if you do not want to….I mean it was really sweet of the Ambassador and everything, but I would have been content on it just being us!" _ No it's alright it is your big day I just didn't expect so many people I thought it was just going to be immediate family!

When we walked through the veranda doors I was in shock to see Rossi, Pen and Kevin, along with JJ and her family. I couldn't help but scan the crowd to see if I saw his face hell who was I kidding after our last Skype conversation I knew he wouldn't come. {"_What the hell do you mean your engaged Emily, did our weekend mean nothing to you…..you fucking told me you loved me…..you told me that you wanted me! I guess I was just another pawn in this fucking game you like to play! "…._Derek it's not like that there are things you just do not understand….hell I do not even understand them_!} _

Derek didn't even know why he was going to this damned birthday event for a man he didn't even like….but deep down he needed to show her he had moved on with a woman that knew what she wanted…..Yes…. Savannah wanted Derek Morgan & all of him….! He hadn't planned on coming by but he had promised his baby girl & he had ran out of excuses to not speak or have anything to do concerning Emily, although no one knew what had transpired during her last visit….hell who was he kidding that last visit was possibly the worst mistake of his life he thought!

Savannah wasn't quite sure what was going through Derek's mind but she was keen enough to know that he was anxious about something but she had a bad feeling it was not something she really wanted any part of! All she did know was that Emily was a former partner who Derek never talked about or always changed the subject when she was brought up when out with his friends from work. She was afraid there was something more than just partners between them and whatever it was must have ended badly or was unresolved!

I had to admit this was not how I wanted my family to find out about everything but I guess they would have found out sooner or later, although I guess I thought as long as I stayed hidden in London I could deny how my life was unraveling into some kind of roller coaster ride from hell. I felt Michael pull me closer in that predatory way he always does when he is trying to prove a point so when I turned my head to see what he was looking at….their he was in the flesh with some new flavor of the week hanging on to him! I just smiled as I turned to face him completely but I do not think I was prepared for the look he gave me and the hurt that flashed in his eyes before I saw him roll his jaw in that gritted teeth fixture of stone coldness he only wears when he is interrogating an unsub.

When Derek saw her from behind he wasn't sure if he could really do this, he tightened his grip on Savannah's hand leading her over to where Emily was talking to the team, but he saw Michael glance over his shoulder seeing him approaching…..then watched as Michael pulled Emily closer as if he was afraid she was getting away…..Derek thought maybe Michael was just standing his ground….he knew regardless of what had happened that he must have totally misread Emily's feelings for him and that apparently there was something he was missing! Derek watched as Emily glanced to look in his direction but when she completely turned to face him what he saw was more than he could take…..hell it was more than he could process…why hadn't she said anything?...why hadn't she let him know?

_**SO SORRY PEEPS FOR THE WAIT….BUT I HAVE BEEN IN BLAH ABOUT HOW OR WHERE I WANTED TO TAKE THIS…I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND THOUGHTS RUSHING THROUGH MY MIND ABOUT THIS STORY….SO PLEASE BE PATIENT AND BARE WITH ME FOR THE RIDE! THANKS AS ALWAYS FOR THE R&R's….HOPE TO HEAR MORE FROM YOU ALL!**_


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